Saturday, July 12, 2014

Mom, Did Dad Cheat on You?

Yep. Those words came out of my 9-year-old's mouth. My empathetic, older-than-his-years, "indigo child" son. 

We were driving to grab some dinner the other night. Their dad was working, and my son asked why we no longer go to the place where it all went down. He asked why Dad doesn't even want to go near it. 

"Did something bad happen there and that's why he quit?" he asked.

"Yes, pretty much" I replied.

Silence.

"Did Dad cheat on you, Mom?"

The world stopped for a second. What did he just say?

It was almost like when he looked into my eyes and demanded to know the truth about Santa Claus. Only that was a question I had been preparing for. This one, not so. 

I had decided to keep the Santa thing going until he finally asked me, flat out. If he was to ask me for the truth, I was going to give it to him. Until then, I was going to carry on with the sweet fantasy to protect his innocence and keep the magic alive.

So applying that philosophy to this loaded question, what was I supposed to say? This nine-year-old who watches Full House reruns every night has a deeper understanding of compassion and human relations than many adults I know. How could I lie to him? He was asking for the truth. He can handle the truth; he's not your typical kid. 

I swore that after being betrayed and lied to by the person I trusted the most, I was going to make it my life quest to be 100% honest and truthful to myself and my loved ones. And now my child was asking for an answer to a question that could possibly change his opinion about his father forever. 

I could lie and break yet another vow - the vow I made to myself about being truthful. Or I could tell him the truth. I've been wanting to tell him since day one for selfish reasons. In the beginning, I wanted him to know so I could have another ally. I wanted my husband to feel the loss of his son's trust and respect, because my husband deserved that. My husband put my innocent child's future on the line for a stupid, useless fuck. He choose the whore, not my kids. He spent his mornings at her house, fucking her in her marriage bed when he should have been at home making pancakes for his adoring sons. But when they woke up each Saturday morning, they knew Dad was "on a bike ride."


So yeah, I wanted my son to know. I wanted his support. I knew he'd be on my team. I knew he'd protect his momma. 


Yet when he outright asked me....I dodged the question.

"What makes you ask that?" I replied after several moments of silence.

"I don't know...cuz you guys were fighting so much," he said.

"Would you be mad at Dad if he did?" I asked. (I just had to know!)

"Yeah."

And then I changed the subject. I think we were pulling into the restaurant at that time so I was able to segway into something about dinner. But I couldn't stop thinking about it.

He knows. I know he knows. Which is why I do want to tell him. I don't want him to make this mistake with his future wife. The pattern MUST end with this generation. And he won't learn unless he knows and understands. 

Would it be more helpful to grow up knowing the truth and understanding that when your parents are fighting, there is a root cause? They say the danger in divorce is that kids think it's their fault. Would him knowing help him understand that it's not at all about him? That his family is dysfunctional because his dad fucked up royally? And then he could leave this house with nine years of knowledge, which he could then take with him and apply to his own life?


Or do we wait until he's 18 and risk it falling on deaf ears? Would it be impactful to say, "You know when you were nine and Mom was throwing patio furniture at Dad? Yeah, that's what that was all about." At that point, will he even care?


I know it's my job to protect his innocence. But sheltered kids grow up to be naive. I don't think I'd be doing him any favors if he already knows the truth and he is witnessing me being untruthful with him.

But trust me, if I choose to tell him, he will hear it from my husband. This is a man thing, and my husband is responsible for teaching my sons how to be men of honor. And if he wants me to think of  him as honorable again, he needs to man up. 

19 comments:

  1. I am out here to testify of your great work, my husband is back to me with the kids and leave the other woman at his working place, with your spell and he is in love with me now as you said, and he said there is no need for divorce and he apologized for all the pains he cost me and my kids thank you very much Dr,Lawrence if you need his help his email address is [drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com], your spell work fast and I am so happy to share your testimony

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

      It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. i was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, when i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact a great powerful spell caster called Dr. Ugo Wonders living in Florida. i contacted Dr. Ugo and explained my problems, he assured me his help and it was 100% guaranteed. i provided the materials for the spell and in 48 hours, after Dr Ugo Wonders of generalspelltemple@gmail.com finished casting the spell, my husband was free from the evil woman spell and he came back home to us a day after begging us to forgive him. i was so shocked and short of words and here i am today happily testifying so the world can know how this great man helped me with his real powerful spell.
      To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Ugo wonders the ultimate spell caster via his email address generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number directly on +13863369876



      DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

      It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. i was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, when i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact a great powerful spell caster called Dr. Ugo Wonders living in Florida. i contacted Dr. Ugo and explained my problems, he assured me his help and it was 100% guaranteed. i provided the materials for the spell and in 48 hours, after Dr Ugo Wonders of generalspelltemple@gmail.com finished casting the spell, my husband was free from the evil woman spell and he came back home to us a day after begging us to forgive him. i was so shocked and short of words and here i am today happily testifying so the world can know how this great man helped me with his real powerful spell.
      To every one with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Ugo wonders the ultimate spell caster via his email address generalspelltemple@gmail.com or call his mobile number directly on +13863369876

      Delete
  2. Glad we have throwing patio furniture at our cheating husband's in common. Hope all is well on your end. Our children know what their father did I was yelling their Dad chose to pretend another woman was his wife and that's why Mommy cannot be with him anymore. That was last Sunday.. Things calmed down and I am here still not committed.. still somewhat miserable

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello every body my name is Janelle Mercredi, from United Kingdom England, I just want to share my experience with the world on how Dr iayaryi, help me, I got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3 years with 1kid and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and argued almost every time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me because I love him so much and don’t want to lose him but everything just didn't work out… he moved out of the house because it was a rented apartment and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used his power… Within 4 days my husband called me and he said he was sorry for all the emotional pains he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily and our kid is happy too and we are expecting our second child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience because I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him through his email.(driayaryi2012@hotmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello every body my name is Janelle Mercredi, from United Kingdom England, I just want to share my experience with the world on how Dr iayaryi, help me, I got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3 years with 1kid and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and argued almost every time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me because I love him so much and don’t want to lose him but everything just didn't work out… he moved out of the house because it was a rented apartment and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used his power… Within 4 days my husband called me and he said he was sorry for all the emotional pains he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily and our kid is happy too and we are expecting our second child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience because I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him through his email.(driayaryi2012@hotmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hello, My Names are Sabrina Morris, I am from Marion Iowa, This is a testimony about a Spell Doctor named Great Malawi via meiismcenter@gmail.com, that restored my hope and gave me reasons to love my life again. It was my first time to order for a spell or spiritual help because I don’t believe in them; my religion forbids spells or witches. I had no choice than to connect with the Great Malawi when my Husband-To-Be and my Baby Father left me because he was sleeping with my friend. I tried everything possible to win him back physically but he resisted all my efforts until I decided to go spiritual, but I needed higher power that’s why I connected with the Great Spell Cast of Malawi. He proved to me that his spell is not evil and it’s 100% genuine and last for eternity. He was an angel to me and my family during the process of the spell until he finally brought my Baby back as promised. He told me that my Baby’s spirit was distracted towards me and the world, so he called back his spirit and made him remember who he really is and how we started and also the promises he made to me and our child.The Great Malawi is a savior of our time and we should all benefit from his spiritual gifts. Thank you the Great one for giving me my own testimony. He will help you find the man or woman of your dreams if you try him. Connect with him via meiismcenter@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Be careful here nobody can help you here or even suggest how you can get your ex or love back,any testimonies of most spell caster here must be ignore.because most of them are scam i mean real scam which i was a victim and i got ripped of thousands of dollars because i was so anxious to get my wife back after she left me for over 2 years with my 7 years old son jerry,i have applied to 7 different spell caster here and all to no avail they all ask for same thing send your name your ex name address and picture phone number etc which i did over and over again and most of them were from west Africa until i saw a post about mama Anita spell and i decided to gave her my last trail.she ask me four things my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and $180 and said my ex will come back in 24hours, i have paid over $3000 on spell casting and courier and nothing have work for me after 3 days i was thinking about how much i have lost so far so i said let me give her a try so i called her again and send my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and the $380 because i swear it was my last try so i was waiting as she told me to wait till next day and i could not sleep that night because i really love my wife and want her back at 9pm that day i saw my wife on line on face book and she said hi at first i was shock because she never talk with me for the past a year and 9 month now i did not reply again she said are you there? i quickly reply yes and she said can we see tomorrow i said yes and she went off-line i was confused i try to chat her again but she was no more on line i could not sleep that night as i was wondering what she is going to say, by 7.am the next morning she gave me a miss call i decided not to call back as i was still on shock again she call and i pick she said can we see after work today i said yes so she end the call immediately i got off work she call me and we meet and now we are back again i call mama anita the next day thanking her for what she has done in fact i still call her and thank her as my life was not complete without my wife please be careful here i have been scam thousands of dollars if you want a true love spell then contact mama Anita (mamaanita.lovespellsolution@gmail.com) website www.mama-anitaspellcraft.wix.com/anita.

    ReplyDelete

  7. DO NOT FALL INTO THE HANDS OF SCAMMERS WHO CLAIMS TO BE SPELL CASTER SIMPLY BECAUSE A FEE MUST BE PAID BEFORE GETTING YOUR HELP. IT IS TRUE THAT THERE ARE REAL SPELL CASTERS WHO CAN CURE ANY TYPE OF DISEASES OR HELP YOU GET YOUR EX BACK, BUT CERTAINLY NOT ALL POST ARE REAL.

    I want you to beware of all comments you see on the internet because %100 of this post are fakes and opportunity to rip you off your hard earned money. This is why Dr. Odogu has decided to save everyone from any kinds of spiritual problem and so many people has been taken advantage of secondary to the fact that they all seek one help or the other. Herpes is a sexually transmitted virus that primarily infects the mouth and the genitals. It is transmitted by bodily fluids – penetration isn’t required for transmission, oral-oral or oral-genital contact will suffice. There are 2 types of sexually transmitted herpes: herpes type 1 and herpes type 2. Both types cause painful cold sores. It used to be that we (doctors and researchers) thought of herpes 1 as primarily infecting the mouth (“above the belt”) and herpes 2 as primarily infecting the genitals (“below the belt”), but we know now that is just not the case. Fifty percent of new cases of genital herpes are actually herpes type 1.It worked like a charm. Within a week everything had basically disappeared, except some spots that were obviously still healing,if you are having any type of this disease. For more info email us {odogu.amagbahighsolutionhome@gmail.com}

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    ReplyDelete

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  9. I had doubts about magic spells after purchasing many spells that never worked I actually decided to never buy a spell again. I have tried different spell casters..Some of them never answered me after I paid and were obvious scammers, some really cast a spell but for some reason it didn't work. Then I saw a video on youtube with a person who was mentioning she had results with Mama Anita. Despite the suspicions I had her site looked real so I gave spells a last try. It's probably the best decision I ever made in my life because it worked and my boyfriend came back with me After I broke up with him I spent a lot of time wishing that I could just turn the clock backwards.He helped me do just that. In fact our relationship feels like the break up never even happened. We have never been this happy or passionate, all thanks to mama anita. If you're looking for a good spell caster look no further,you can contact her straight on (magic.lovespel@reincarnate.com).or (mama.anitaspellcraft@hotmail.com).

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  18. We specialized in Bank Guarantee {BG}, Standby Letter of Credit {SBLC}, Medium Term Notes {MTN}, Confirmable Bank Draft {CBD} as well as other financial instruments issued from AAA Rated bank such as HSBC Bank Hong Kong, HSBC Bank London, Deutsche Bank AG Frankfurt, Barclays Bank , Standard Chartered Bank and others on lease at the lowest available rates depending on the face value of the instrument needed.

    We deliver with time and precision as sethforth in the agreement. Our terms and Conditions are reasonable, below is our instrument description.

    The procedure is very simple; the instrument will be reserved on euro clear to be verified by your bank, after verification an arrangement will be made for necessary bank documents and stock testing expenses, the cost of the Bank Guarantee will be paid after the delivery of the MT760.

    Below is our instrument description.

    DESCRIPTION OF INSTRUMENT:
    1. Instrument: Bank Guarantee (BG/SBLC) (Appendix A)
    2. Total Face Value: Eur 5M MIN and Eur 10B MAX (Ten Billion USD).
    3. Issuing Bank: HSBC Bank London, Credit Suisse and Deutsche Bank Frankfurt.
    4. Age: One Year, One Month
    5. Leasing Price: 4% of Face Value plus 2% commission fees to brokers.
    6. Delivery: Bank to Bank swift.
    7. Payment: MT-103 or MT760
    8. Hard Copy: Bonded Courier within 7 banking days.

    All relevant business information will be provided upon request plus our terms and procedures: If you are interested please contact me for us to proceed further

    Regards

    Devdutt Vyas
    Email: devdutt_vyas@outlook.com
    devdutt.vyas2016@gmail.com
    Skype: devdutt.vyas

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