My Story

In September of 2012, my husband and was caught having an affair with a married woman. They were co-workers and let their "work friendship" cross the line about one year prior. So for one year, my husband was sleeping with another woman (also married with small children), at a time when I thought our marriage was stronger than ever.

I was completely blindsided.

He was mortified, ashamed, and on his hands and knees begging forgiveness. He cut off all ties with the other woman immediately. He claims he never loved her, and never once thought of leaving me for her. It was his rock-bottom. I've never seen more humility in a human being as I have seen in him since D-Day.

I have forgiven him and we are rebuilding our marriage, but there are days when I question that decision. Most people claim that if their spouse ever cheated, they would leave. It's a self-preservation thing. I was one of those people, so now I have to forgive myself daily for breaking my own promise to myself.

But it's going to be worth it. I won't have it any other way.

It can't be undone. The pain will be with me whether I stay or leave. While leaving might make dealing with the pain easier (because I wouldn't wake up to the man who betrayed me every day), the negatives that come with divorce and a broken family seem much worse to me than the path I have chosen. I've chosen to pick up the pieces of this mess and superglue it back together rather than throw it all away.

If I have to go through this pain, it will not be in vain. I will use the experience to help others so that they know that what they are thinking/feeling/doing is not CRAZY. Though we may feel like righteous monsters at times - and bi-polar most of the time - we are simply reacting normally to the most devastating betrayal known to humankind.

While I can't offer much more than the story of my experience, I hope that it relates to readers who are going through this hell and need to know that they are not alone.

12 comments:

  1. Very nicely written. Thanks for sharing. It gives me no pleasure to meet you through of shared experience of being betrayed but I wish you nothing but the best.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, beenkissingafool. I follow your journey and find it comforting and inspiring. Thanks for taking the time to read.

      Delete
  2. im going through a roller coaster,my husband has been gone for 15months,he tells me through text he loves me,im his one and only but still hasnt returned.when i ask him he will get upset,and only reply i am:(,this is so confusing because he tells me til he is blue in the face but wont drive up??

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  3. Looks like I'm late to the party. Been about 75 days since I found out about my wife's year long affair. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Looks like I'm late to the party. Been about 75 days since I found out about my wife's year long affair. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating husband, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator  Mr James . I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my husband iphone.He hacked his Gmail and Facebook account and linked all his WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you Mr James for helping me get evidence against him,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him (Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) via Email. 

    ReplyDelete
  6. My wife was so smooth at hiding his infidelity and I had no proof for months, I was referred to Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating wife's text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on her and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your wife is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact Mr James 


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  8. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating wife, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator  Mr James . I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my wifes iphone.He hacked her Gmail and Facebook account and linked all her WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you Mr James for helping me get evidence against her,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him (Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) via email. 

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was afraid of losing my wife because of a baseless suspicion in her mind, so I suggested her to perform a Truth Lie Test on me, and provide me an opportunity to prove my trustworthiness. The idea worked for me, and we are living happily, without having doubts in our minds.

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