My Story

In September of 2012, my husband and was caught having an affair with a married woman. They were co-workers and let their "work friendship" cross the line about one year prior. So for one year, my husband was sleeping with another woman (also married with small children), at a time when I thought our marriage was stronger than ever.

I was completely blindsided.

He was mortified, ashamed, and on his hands and knees begging forgiveness. He cut off all ties with the other woman immediately. He claims he never loved her, and never once thought of leaving me for her. It was his rock-bottom. I've never seen more humility in a human being as I have seen in him since D-Day.

I have forgiven him and we are rebuilding our marriage, but there are days when I question that decision. Most people claim that if their spouse ever cheated, they would leave. It's a self-preservation thing. I was one of those people, so now I have to forgive myself daily for breaking my own promise to myself.

But it's going to be worth it. I won't have it any other way.

It can't be undone. The pain will be with me whether I stay or leave. While leaving might make dealing with the pain easier (because I wouldn't wake up to the man who betrayed me every day), the negatives that come with divorce and a broken family seem much worse to me than the path I have chosen. I've chosen to pick up the pieces of this mess and superglue it back together rather than throw it all away.

If I have to go through this pain, it will not be in vain. I will use the experience to help others so that they know that what they are thinking/feeling/doing is not CRAZY. Though we may feel like righteous monsters at times - and bi-polar most of the time - we are simply reacting normally to the most devastating betrayal known to humankind.

While I can't offer much more than the story of my experience, I hope that it relates to readers who are going through this hell and need to know that they are not alone.

5 comments:

  1. Very nicely written. Thanks for sharing. It gives me no pleasure to meet you through of shared experience of being betrayed but I wish you nothing but the best.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, beenkissingafool. I follow your journey and find it comforting and inspiring. Thanks for taking the time to read.

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  2. im going through a roller coaster,my husband has been gone for 15months,he tells me through text he loves me,im his one and only but still hasnt returned.when i ask him he will get upset,and only reply i am:(,this is so confusing because he tells me til he is blue in the face but wont drive up??

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  3. Looks like I'm late to the party. Been about 75 days since I found out about my wife's year long affair. Thank you for sharing.

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  4. Looks like I'm late to the party. Been about 75 days since I found out about my wife's year long affair. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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