Monday, August 12, 2013

Maybe This Isn't Going to Work After All


What does it mean when your cheating spouse can no longer console you when you're grieving the loss of your perfect marriage? What does it say when you sit at the dining room table sobbing, and he puts up a wall and gets angry because HE just wants to have a good day after 2 weeks of bad? "Why can't we just have a good evening?", he says. Seriously?! Why??

We're only 11 months in and he no longer has compassion, he no longer wants to talk about the affair (because he doesn't want to feel guilty anymore), and he can't even pretend to care when I'm sad. This is a very different person than the remorseful version of him six months ago.  I think I'm done. I really don't see this working if he can't help me through the healing this early on. I really think the narcissist who committed the affair is the same narcissist who doesn't want to feel guilty anymore and "just wants to be happy" and not talk about how bad of a boy he was. Can people really change?  He refuses to do the work. He refuses to read the books and online forums to see how I'm not crazy, and NO, I'm not just TRYING to make things worse by having a bad couple of weeks. He thinks I'm doing this on PURPOSE?! He thinks I WANT to feel like a freak every day? I'm at such a loss. With two precious little boys to consider, too...

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