Sunday, July 7, 2013

Out With the Old, In With the New

So here I am, beginning of July, and I can honestly say that something has changed. Since the 9-month mark, I have only had 3 spells of anger, and they only lasted a few hours at the most. The affair no longer sits in the foreground of my thoughts. It's an afterthought, most of the time. (Well, except when I come across a trigger that sends my mind reeling...)

You know what has helped tremendously? Change. I know it sounds cliché, but seriously - it's the one thing that helps me move forward. We are turning our routines upside down. If there is an opportunity to change anything about my life - whether it's routines, new hobbies, new clothes, new haircuts - I'm all over it. I feel like it gives me a sense of newness to my life, like the moment to do whatever-it-is-I've-been-putting-off is NOW.

I don't know about you, but I don't want anything about my daily life to remind me of the past. I don't need any more triggers to remind me of the affair! I also don't want to slip into our old patterns that got him in the mess in the first place, so the way to avoid that is to change EVERYTHING about your daily routines.

Here are the changes we have made that have made a positive impact:
  • Evening routines: I used to put the kids to bed while he did the dishes, and we've reversed it.
  • Jobs: I went part-time, and now he's working in an entirely new industry. It's huge.
  • Personal appearance: I went blonde and have upped the sassiness in my wardrobe and accessories. I get more compliments than ever - even from men!
  • Changes to the house: I've moved our family photo collage to a different part of the house, moved furniture around, redecorated my son's room (where "it" happened), and painted. We've even moved things around in the kitchen cupboards and I love it.
  • Sunday mornings: We now attend church as a family. Before, I might attend with the kids on my own occasionally, but J was never interested. Now he's passionate about going and considers it a priority for our family.
  • Meal blessings: We started praying before meals as a family. It's the sweetest thing to hear J pray out loud with our kids. (This is nothing short of a miracle!)
  • Fitness: I joined a gym with a childcare facility. I'm enjoying the change of workout routines in addition to my running schedule. I drop the kids off and go to yoga for an hour and don't even feel an ounce guilty about it!
I look at our life now compared with a year ago and we are a different family! It's good. It's really good.

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